Things We've Lost
by singyouhome
Summary: “You don’t understand.” She stuttered trying to breathe steady. “What’s not to understand, Peyton? There’s nothing left anymore.” “I..I..Lucas, I had an abortion. I killed our baby.” Lucas/Peyton 5x01 AU Two Shot
1. Story Info Plot

**Things We've Lost **

**PLANNING: **

This is a two part one-shot that starts in 5x01 [One Tree Hill] for Lucas/Peyton. This is completely AU and is totally completely insane. Peyton comes back to Tree Hill with a secret buried so deep under her skin she feels like she'd going to die. So Peyton confronts Lucas of her mistake and tells him why she made it.

PRELUDE- Peyton's Pov (Choices I've Made)

One-shot- Take's place at River Court

(This is What I've Done, This is Where I Go From Here)

**Summary: **

He turned around and looked at her in the eyes. "You don't understand." She stuttered trying to breathe steady. "What's not to understand, Peyton? There's nothing left anymore." "I..I..Lucas, I had an abortion. I killed our baby." Lucas/Peyton 5x01 AU.

Two part one-shot.

**Basic Plot: **

After Lucas's visit in LA three years, Peyton finds herself pregnant and alone. She still misses Lucas and the love they share. She promises herself that she will tell Luke about the baby. But at her twelve week appointment Peyton finds out that the pregnancy is an ectopic pregnancy and that having the baby could kill her. So Peyton goes through the long and hard decision of aborting her baby. Three years later she returns to Tree Hill, sad and broken, telling Lucas the truth about the baby and what happened.


	2. Choices I've Made

**Things We've Lost**

**Prelude- Choices I've Made: Peyton**

L.A is colder than I thought it would be. People say that the place is full of hope and broken dreams, but for some reason the weather is always warm. The sun always shines here, but it's more depressing then if I was stuck out in the Amazon where it was pouring down raining all day. But here I'm trapped in an ice box, I don't have life here, I have darkness, I have regret, and here I'm six feet under. I like to think that in life we don't always have full control over what we've done. Don't get me wrong, I blame myself for all the choices I've made right and wrong. In my head I play over wrong and right, yes and no. For both I draw a more questions than answers. About three years ago, I was in a relationship with someone I loved with all of my heart. He asked me a simple question and when he asked my heart screamed yes and my head screamed not right now. To Lucas, someday means no, never, maybe isn't even in his vocabulary. So by answering him with a someday, it meant to him that I no longer loved him, he walked away. That was a choice that we both made. I let him walk, I didn't run after him. I am a selfish woman. I realize this now almost three years later. Love can survive in many forms. I know that is the truth. Lucas and my love survive on the pages of his novel, The Unkindness of Ravens. I've read it thousands of times, bought hundreds of copies. I've heard the book sold well, and I always giggle when I think of how I have two large bookshelves filled with his novel in my apartment. Love can survive in life. I look at two of my high school friends, Nathan and Haley, who have a son together. Their love is in their child. Lucas and I should have that, but because of more awful choices, because of mistakes, our love survives in black and white. I miss Lucas Eugene Scott more than I miss anything in the world, maybe even more than I miss my mother. It sounds like a bad thing to say but I've loved him with all my heart, the wounds of my mother's death have healed, because of him. But him walking out on me can't be healed, unless he can somehow fix my heart from thousands of miles away. I've decided to go home. Brooke suggested it, told me she'd even come with. LA isn't the right place for me. Brooke, Haley, Nathan, Skills, Mouth…and Lucas aren't here. The music scene here isn't what I thought it would be. I figured I'd be discovering bands, having the time of my life, and being with Lucas. It isn't what I thought it'd be. Instead I'm stuck in a mail room all day, licking envelopes, fetching coffee, and sorting CDs. I also come home to an empty apartment, instead of into Lucas's arms.

The plane ride to Tree Hill is smooth, The pieces of soft fluff rolling around in the infinite sapphire of the sky. I have an old tattered copy of the novel resting in my hands, and I'm all fidgety. I guess if you haven't been to your hometown in four years or seen the people who are your home and heart in so long, that being nervous wouldn't be debatable. I don't know what I'm going to do, I have a secret, and it just might kill me. I've made enough bad choices in my life, to ruin everything I've ever build or ever wanted to build. The plane touches down, I'm home but I'm broken.

**TBC **

**A/N: Hey Guys! I really hope you guys like this two piece story I'm doing. It's basically a one shot with a little bit of Peyton's Perspective at the beginning. [AKA Prelude] This story is very angst and it's really sad. I don't know why I write so much depressive things, it's got to be because my Prozac isn't working. -Kelsey**


	3. This is What I've Done, This is where im

**Things We've Lost**

**One-Shot- This is What I've Done, This is Where I'm Going From Here**

He heard she was back in town. Lucas racked his brains for the reason she'd be returning, asked Haley if she'd heard anything. But Haley told him that there was nothing she could honestly think of. He had seen Brooke this morning when she broke in to his bedroom. she didn't say Peyton was in town. She didn't have to; he read it in her eyes. Lucas was now on the river court dribbling a basketball, waiting. He'd snuck out of his house once his girlfriend fell asleep and he expected Peyton to be there anytime. He wasn't sure why he needed to see her, maybe his heart needed proof that she had waltzed back into town, or maybe he just needed to see her, because the feelings for the blonde he had said were long gone were still bubbling underneath the surface of his flesh.

Peyton walked up onto the blacktop and her eyes wondered to the stars in the sky. She had found her way here because she knew Lucas would be there. He'd want to confront her, he want to welcome her back. Peyton's eyes settled on to the ground of the court, she smiled as she remembered four years ago when all of her high school friends and her self were out here under the street lights playing a game of hoops. When you're a kid, you find yourself getting joy about the littlest things. Peyton also remembered the spray paint they'd use to vandalize the court, to remember they'd always been there. She noticed it was gone now.

"It's too bad for rain." Peyton looked up and there was Lucas standing right in front of her. Peyton gulped and showed him a fake smile, he could see it.

"Yeah, it is too bad…. God Luke I've missed you." Peyton said looking down at her feet.

Lucas had never seen anything more beautiful then the woman standing in front of him.

"I…I… I have someone now, Peyt." Lucas said searching her eyes. "Oh." She said on the verge of tears. This wasn't going to help her tell him what she'd come there to say. "I'll see you later, Peyton." Lucas said turning around to leave. Peyton took a deep breath and yelled out to him, "WAIT!" Lucas turned around quickly and saw that she was now crying.

Lucas walked toward her and once he reached her he tucked her curly blonde hair behind her ear. "Peyton? What's wrong?" "I need to tell you something… and I… god Lucas!" Peyton was now sobbing. "Peyton," Lucas said gently. "Am I crazy?" She asked him. "Am I crazy to still be completely in love with you?" Peyton shook her head violently and wiped her eyes. "Peyton, it's been three years. I've moved on, you should too."

Lucas touched her shoulder and turned around. He turned around again and looked at her in the eyes. "You don't understand." She stuttered trying to breathe steady. "What's not to understand, Peyton? There's nothing left anymore." "I..I..Lucas, I had an abortion. I killed our baby."

"What did you say?" Lucas asked. "You heard me." She said bitterly she couldn't control the tears now. "You cannot be serious. You were pregnant? Then you aborted our baby Peyton! OUR BABY!" "I couldn't keep it." She whispered. "You say that you love me, but our baby, Peyton! You threw our kids life away and don't even have the nerve to call me! FUCK YOU!" Lucas threw the basketball on the ground. He was so upset, how she ever get rid of a baby, their baby, it hurt him. He began to walk away.

"When I say I couldn't keep it, I couldn't physical keep the baby Luke!" She yelled across the silent court. She was upset, she couldn't stop sobbing. Lucas looked at her wild eyed, he was so confused. "The pregnancy was ectopic Lucas. When the egg was fertilized it was in my fallopian tube and not my uterus. The baby was attaching to blood vessels in my organs and ended up growing in my stomach. I found out on the twelfth week Luke," Peyton wiped her hands on her jeans. "It was a boy. We were supposed to have a little boy." Lucas began to sob. "I…god Luke…I wanted to call you… I needed you! But I was so afraid… If I would have carried our son any longer Luke, I would have died." Lucas shook his head. Peyton tired to keep her composer but the tears keep coming.

"Understand that I love you, and our son, more than anything. I am selfish. I cared more about my life, than our sons. I carried more about my job than you. It's a punishment." Lucas took Peyton into a hug and she cried in to his shoulder. "I understand, Peyton. Baby, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry you had to go though this all alone. Lucas said, kissing her temple. "It's all my fault, I didn't tell you. People always leave me. I see why." Lucas pulled away and shook Peyton's shoulders. "Peyton, this isn't your fault." "Luke, just love me. I know I sound so sad and pathetic but I love you. I need you. I want you. It's going to be different now, I home now." Lucas kissed her check and searched her eyes. "Did you…did you name him?" He asked. "I had him buried. I named him. His name was Keith Andrew Scott." "You named him Keith?" He asked. "I thoughts that's what you want Luke. I uh." Lucas smiled a sad smile and pulled Peyton in for a passionate kiss.

When they pulled apart, Peyton was lightheaded. "I love you, Peyton. I don't think I've ever stopped." "Can you forgive me?" She asked. "I already have. It's going to be okay Peyton. I' m going to take care of you, Okay?" Peyton felt the darkness and heaviness in her heart lifting away. "Okay."

**THE END**

**A/N: I know it wasn't very good. I'm sorry. I've never written a one-shot before and personally I really don't like this. It should have been so much better. That can actually happen to a woman when she's pregnant and depending on what the baby is attached to can determine where the pregnancy needs to be terminated or not. I looked it up and didn't make any of the information up. I saw a documentary on TLC about a woman back in the 60's who lived in the Middle East who had an ectopic pregnancy. Because of where the baby grows it couldn't exit the body through the birth canal. Because of the stress, the baby died the woman kept the body inside of her for forty years. The body calcimined [and turned to stone] the document was entitled Stone Baby. But don't worry people it's very rare. Please Review, whatever. [I would never want this to happen to "Leyton's" baby. BTW. I wonder how Brucas fans reacted to that.] -Kelsey**


End file.
